It’s easy to blame others for our own feelings of discomfort, especially when it seems as though another person’s inconsiderate or poor choices are directly the cause of our suffering. The frustrating truth is that these feelings and reactions are in actuality our own doing and therefore our own responsibility.
That is a tough pill to swallow.
Especially when another person’s words or actions are offensive or cruel. And we as humans can be terrible to each other at times. But in these moments when we feel hurt or hard done by, it is wasted effort to try to transfer or infuse our own pain to the person we have decided is the cause. It will never work. We may succeed in making another person feel some guilt, shame or even remorse, but this is not the salve to heal our own wounds.
This is an important topic to me. I’ve wasted precious time and energy on fighting for the principle of the matter. And even the few times where I could say I won, I lost. I lost my time and a bit of my sanity, and I got nothing truly valuable in return.
If there are people in your life that constantly leave you feeling angry, hurt or betrayed take this as an invitation to lovingly let go of the relationship as it is. You can and should continue to love those dear to you but it’s okay to stop putting yourself in positions where you constantly come out hurt and frustrated. It’s okay to take a hard look at your relationships and say, it just isn’t working. From this point comes the real opportunity for growth and reward. The relationship can now end or it can evolve. Either way, we get to sit in the driver’s seat of our own emotional wellbeing and this includes cultivating loving and equitable relationships that are worth our energy.