We are sold a commercialized version of love and connection that is rubbish. It distorts our understanding of what a real lover is like, or what a true friend should be, until our expectations of others and ourselves are miles from anywhere resembling reality. We start to equate the worth of our connections with things like the most thoughtful or at least most envious gifts. Our friendships become about photographic evidence of our amazing adventures together rather than the quality and authenticity of conversation. We push and pull until there is little room to let others and ourselves be just as we are with one another.
It has become very challenging to find real and meaningful relationships but humans need connection. We need love. And it starts with loving ourselves. I know, blah blah blah, you gotta love yourself before anyone else can love you, blah blah...but it’s true. And it is hard as fuck to really look at ourselves with genuine love and appreciation without placing conditions on this love. It can be a moment to moment struggle to feel valid.
The truth is that there is nothing to validate: We are already and always will be good enough to be loved.